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New walls! New walls!

June 28, 2011

First: I know I don’t have pictures of the demolition up yet.  And I don’t have any pictures of the new walls ready, either. So…I will paint pictures with my words! My four lettered words! These pictures may be a bit fuzzy.

Dare I say that hanging drywall is actually kind of fun? Maybe it was just fun because my friend was helping me and we gossiped the whole time. On the other side of the internet, Jeff has a realization as to why his ears were burning so much.

Not to say that we didn’t run into any challenges. I live in Satan’s asshole of a condo, remember? And in Satan’s asshole, rooms aren’t square. The bathroom is like some sort of blown up Lament Configuration waiting for Pinhead to show up and have such sights for me to see. I’d probably put him to work sanding down edges of drywall to fit into that one obnoxious corner that kept changing its shape. Where’s geometry when I need it?! I have calculus, I do not have geometry. All education has now been deemed useless.

So there was a corner that took like an hour plus one trip to Home Depot for a tool to put drywall on. Then the plumbing was like, “HAHAHA, OH, DID YOU WANT ME TO COME OUT? NO.” Middle fingers to you, mocking plumbing. I had a plumber come out to murder it with a torch remove it and replace it with the new bathroom fixtures. NOTE THIS PEOPLE: NEVER ASSUME YOU CAN BALLPARK HOW MUCH A PLUMBER WILL BE. SHOP AROUND. This message brought to you by the scorched, gaping hole in my checking account.

And then the new fan I bought was like, “Yo dawg I know you like problem solving so I decided to be a problem for you.” And I was like, “Oh, you have me mistaken for someone who will not farm this project out in a heartbeat onto my boyfriend.” (PS, thanks Jeff.) Who then figured out that the wall vent? Actually a ceiling vent! I don’t care, it vents things. Like me.

You'd never guess how much trouble this was. I had to draw blueprints. Srs.

Oh sweet god, now I am finding things in common with bathroom fixtures. The madness has deepened.

Doing the drywall itself was kind of like making a jigsaw puzzle from scratch, only with lots of scraping and cussing and shit getting in my eyes. I maybe made a lot of jigsaw pieces that needed to be filled and taped and plastered, but whatever, I call it, “creativity.” Also, drywall is really fucking heavy and awkward to hold up, and I’m a girl with no upper body strength, so smaller pieces it is!

Of course, the thing I thought would be the biggest problem was not so much. We had to put in drywall behind the godforsaken, miserable toilet that made me sell my soul without moving said bastard toilet. And the pieces went in in like 5 minutes. Give thanks for the small miracles too, people.

As of now, it’s been 3-4 days of slathering joint compound onto the seams, and tonight I will begin the sanding. Sand, patch. Sand, patch. I have given myself what I think is a generous 3 days to get the sanding and finishing done before I prime and paint, but I’ve learned by now not to trust my instincts when it comes to this hell pit that’s just waiting to fuck me around every corner. AND take my money.

This is just a cute picture of Jeff saving a pair of pliers from behind a wall using duct tape on a broomstick.


From → Bathroom

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